Post by TheFirebrand on Feb 6, 2015 10:39:36 GMT -6
It really bothers me that even when I've been established as a minister or something respectable, people still act like their normal selves around me. They don't act differently because of any title or position I may have held. I don't really demand or expect it either.
I bring this up because all my life I see how people in the world will many times respond and behave more maturely in the presence of a godly man. I've lost my former demeanor in the last few years due to the way things have had an impact on me, but my morals and beliefs are still intact. Tho again, even in the past people didn't always change how they carry themselves around me.
I live in a household now that's split two ways. And since I no longer hold any position or status nor do I present myself in any pastoral manner, I'm not treated as such. That of course is my own fault. However I didn't come here from any kind preacher's lifestyle either. I was drifting essentially, and not as an evangelist.
Many of today's "established" preachers are generally employed in a middle class, well paying job or they are paid by the church affiliation. Some are retired and living off various, savings, pensions or inheritance. In the last couple of years I've been in a cycle of unconventional jobs. I've been everything from a carnival ride jock to a street sign holder. My coworkers and competition many times are drunkards, drug addicts, criminals and homeless all looking for a quick fix while I seek something more consistent. Most of whom I've met have little interest in changing. So that makes it rough trying to set any kind of example ...
I once had a house provided by a church affiliation. I was still responsible for rent. I also once resided in a church and had my own office for a brief time. And since I lived there I was in charge of groundskeeping and such. Both reigns ended on tragic notes.
It was after the last venture that I soon found my dream of being a husband and father. Anyone who has been following me these past couple years knows full well that is what has lead me to where I am now. My emotional frame of mind as well as my spiritual state is quite jaded. I may tell a good message on the internet, but my ability to carry myself in like manner is like sitting at both ends of a seesaw.
People continue to assure me that my marriage will be restored, that my wife and daughter will find their way to me. Its what I'm supposed to be doing in the meantime that worries me. Certainly I can save some money. That's all I know to do. That's what I was attempting to do in Kentucky ...
There is a church in the Orlando area that I'm told would like to make me a part of it, but getting me there has been problematic. I have yet to meet the Pastor who has heard so much about me. Myself and a member of the congregation have met up a few times and that's as far as we've come.
I am uncertain where this message is headed. I would like to find myself in a better, perhaps more prominent position. The only thing I am certain of is this dire need for personal redemption and spiritual renewal ...
I bring this up because all my life I see how people in the world will many times respond and behave more maturely in the presence of a godly man. I've lost my former demeanor in the last few years due to the way things have had an impact on me, but my morals and beliefs are still intact. Tho again, even in the past people didn't always change how they carry themselves around me.
I live in a household now that's split two ways. And since I no longer hold any position or status nor do I present myself in any pastoral manner, I'm not treated as such. That of course is my own fault. However I didn't come here from any kind preacher's lifestyle either. I was drifting essentially, and not as an evangelist.
Many of today's "established" preachers are generally employed in a middle class, well paying job or they are paid by the church affiliation. Some are retired and living off various, savings, pensions or inheritance. In the last couple of years I've been in a cycle of unconventional jobs. I've been everything from a carnival ride jock to a street sign holder. My coworkers and competition many times are drunkards, drug addicts, criminals and homeless all looking for a quick fix while I seek something more consistent. Most of whom I've met have little interest in changing. So that makes it rough trying to set any kind of example ...
I once had a house provided by a church affiliation. I was still responsible for rent. I also once resided in a church and had my own office for a brief time. And since I lived there I was in charge of groundskeeping and such. Both reigns ended on tragic notes.
It was after the last venture that I soon found my dream of being a husband and father. Anyone who has been following me these past couple years knows full well that is what has lead me to where I am now. My emotional frame of mind as well as my spiritual state is quite jaded. I may tell a good message on the internet, but my ability to carry myself in like manner is like sitting at both ends of a seesaw.
People continue to assure me that my marriage will be restored, that my wife and daughter will find their way to me. Its what I'm supposed to be doing in the meantime that worries me. Certainly I can save some money. That's all I know to do. That's what I was attempting to do in Kentucky ...
There is a church in the Orlando area that I'm told would like to make me a part of it, but getting me there has been problematic. I have yet to meet the Pastor who has heard so much about me. Myself and a member of the congregation have met up a few times and that's as far as we've come.
I am uncertain where this message is headed. I would like to find myself in a better, perhaps more prominent position. The only thing I am certain of is this dire need for personal redemption and spiritual renewal ...