Post by TheFirebrand on May 2, 2014 6:11:31 GMT -6
If you disagree in anger and attack someone telling you the truth, which is what happens to me a lot, you are rejecting the stone. You are offended for a reason.
This is what do. I research disinformation, propaganda and false history. I am not going to get everything right, but I am also not believing one word of the most popularized and glorified stories ever told by the media or in movies. It should have never had any bearing on my marriage or how I am judged as person. Most of those who have cast judgment on me are some of the most immoral, dysfunctional people I have ever seen ... worse than that I have been judged by something in my past that was put there by someone else's error. Something I am not guilty of. And I know some of it was jealousy because Megan had a man who was fully committed to her no matter how difficult things got ...
Nobody bothered to acknowledge my love and commitment to Megan or my dedication to being a father to our daughter. Nobody even considered the possibility that I might be hurting and frustrated over our circumstances. Instead of offering support and encouragement to a newlywed couple with a child and typical, normal newlywed relationship issues, they merely gave her an out. They convinced her to run like a coward and abandon that which God gave her while becoming everything she once hated ...
People say "well you get offended a lot" ... Yeah I do, at immorality, poor attitudes, arrogance, ignorance and the blind obedience of matrix sheep. or sometimes its over matters of government and law, or the general diminishing of society. I fail at always responding correctly, I get angry, I overreact (its a childhood psychological matter) but then that is my flaw, and I openly admit to it. I get defensive about things that hit close to home and take things personal on an emotional level. I've grown with it. I don't react so often now, but unfortunately I allow my buttons to be pushed at the most inopportune times, and that one isolated time or two is all it takes to turn everyone against me.
The reason I have so much garbage made up about me is because I do not hide or deny the fact that I am not perfect. I admit to my mistakes (no one can make me feel worse than I do myself) and when I realize I am wrong. So because of this, Satan puts things and ideas into people's minds. That's how rumors and gossip are started, especially in churches. People have always been Satan's weapons against me. He used people to turn my own precious, innocent wife into into a weapon against me.
My own faith has dwindled greatly in my condition. I'm at a place where I'm stressed out just by the need to choose where to go and when to move elsewhere based on the weather constantly changing. When in my heart I know I simply belong at home with my family. I really have become quite disenchanted this existence, but nothing I do is helping, my prayers seem to only be answered with negative results or no answer at all. I've lost so much confidence and I'm turning into a lie the same as my wife has ...
There is only one Biblical way out of this for either of us.
If you wanna make enemies, try to change something. I don't even know which side I'm anymore. Am I wrestling with an Angel or a devil? Am I being pulled in a tug of war for my soul? When will I be allowed to live my life with loved ones, stability and peace of mind? Is that even possible?
This is what do. I research disinformation, propaganda and false history. I am not going to get everything right, but I am also not believing one word of the most popularized and glorified stories ever told by the media or in movies. It should have never had any bearing on my marriage or how I am judged as person. Most of those who have cast judgment on me are some of the most immoral, dysfunctional people I have ever seen ... worse than that I have been judged by something in my past that was put there by someone else's error. Something I am not guilty of. And I know some of it was jealousy because Megan had a man who was fully committed to her no matter how difficult things got ...
Nobody bothered to acknowledge my love and commitment to Megan or my dedication to being a father to our daughter. Nobody even considered the possibility that I might be hurting and frustrated over our circumstances. Instead of offering support and encouragement to a newlywed couple with a child and typical, normal newlywed relationship issues, they merely gave her an out. They convinced her to run like a coward and abandon that which God gave her while becoming everything she once hated ...
People say "well you get offended a lot" ... Yeah I do, at immorality, poor attitudes, arrogance, ignorance and the blind obedience of matrix sheep. or sometimes its over matters of government and law, or the general diminishing of society. I fail at always responding correctly, I get angry, I overreact (its a childhood psychological matter) but then that is my flaw, and I openly admit to it. I get defensive about things that hit close to home and take things personal on an emotional level. I've grown with it. I don't react so often now, but unfortunately I allow my buttons to be pushed at the most inopportune times, and that one isolated time or two is all it takes to turn everyone against me.
The reason I have so much garbage made up about me is because I do not hide or deny the fact that I am not perfect. I admit to my mistakes (no one can make me feel worse than I do myself) and when I realize I am wrong. So because of this, Satan puts things and ideas into people's minds. That's how rumors and gossip are started, especially in churches. People have always been Satan's weapons against me. He used people to turn my own precious, innocent wife into into a weapon against me.
My own faith has dwindled greatly in my condition. I'm at a place where I'm stressed out just by the need to choose where to go and when to move elsewhere based on the weather constantly changing. When in my heart I know I simply belong at home with my family. I really have become quite disenchanted this existence, but nothing I do is helping, my prayers seem to only be answered with negative results or no answer at all. I've lost so much confidence and I'm turning into a lie the same as my wife has ...
There is only one Biblical way out of this for either of us.
If you wanna make enemies, try to change something. I don't even know which side I'm anymore. Am I wrestling with an Angel or a devil? Am I being pulled in a tug of war for my soul? When will I be allowed to live my life with loved ones, stability and peace of mind? Is that even possible?