NOTW 22 (Trapped) Jan 7, 2014 8:58:52 GMT -6
Post by TheFirebrand on Jan 7, 2014 8:58:52 GMT -6
"With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him." Proverbs 7:21
I'm so desperate to be with my daughter. Not by the law of man's standards for some idiotic short visits every couple weeks either. I spent everyday with that girl. I took care of her. There is absolutely no excuse for this. The only reason for a mother to schedule visitation and "allow" any time at all is nothing more than a power trip for control. Its evil and sinister. It is against Bible to use the law against one another so I will not use the same immoral methods, and yet my trust in the word or my faith has done nothing to improve the situation. This is why I lose faith and why I lose trust. Because not only has my wife become that which she hated and vowed never to be, but God has allowed this to drag on and has allowed my daughter to forget me ... that alone causes me to question more than just my own beliefs.
There is also my son, which his mother took on the same sadistic mind frame. What she used to do is blame me and guilt me for not trying to see my son (even tho I ALWAYS tried to see him) and then when I wanted to to see him she would say "no you're not going to see him" ... all the while making herself seem all innocent to everyone else. Now my son likely believes all sorts of lies about me.
My wife showed me many signs and made many comments that were very uncharacteristic of her. She became arrogant and ill willed towards me. Her heart had obviously been corrupted by something more than just anything between us. Her mind became poisoned against me by the hands of others influencing her.
Many of those same people were in full support of our marriage. Some of them became jealous. Others are just really screwed up in the head. I don't deny the things I'm guilty of. The irony is that I'm not being condemned for those things. Nothing I did brought this tragedy on. Megan is just as guilty of just as many things as I am. Its called being newlyweds ...
No the whole ordeal is the result of a demonic attack on our marriage. The attacks started before we even got married. And although I did not take my wife for granted, I did however fail to maintain the spiritual aspect of our covenant alive while we were living under her parent's roof. I was frightened to move into their house and tried desperately and fought tooth and nail to get us back out on our own. We were stopped and prevented every step of the way. Even when I would pray over it and pour my heart out to God things only continued to get worse for us. Even tho she had a job and we saved money it was still all in vain.
Is my loyalty to her and my daughter just some misguided obsession or is it a valid and Biblical stance on faith? I can't tell the difference anymore.
These are the reasons why people stop believing in God, why people decide that whatever their experiences prior, that God is just a placebo. Myself on the other hand. I am torn greatly, because I know God is real, and I believe what His word says. Yet here I am ... as if none of it applies to me.
Trapped in an endless viscous cycle, imprisoned by this poor existence. Mercy ain't got no judgement, justice got a rag tied around it's eyes ...