Post by TheFirebrand on Nov 26, 2013 16:23:34 GMT -6
Something from a message I read about marriage mentors ...
"Is your marriage floundering, the problems too personal or painful to discuss with anyone other than your spouse? Books are discreet counselors."
Ok well first off, FACEBOOK is the WORST place to talk about any of this. Especially if the HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of people in your friends list are total strangers as well as very worldly. Its also bad to talk to anyone who sees unjustified divorce and abandonment as options ...
Second, there are very few books that will even qualify as "good counselors" for marriage. To my knowledge the only one my wife ever read was "5 Love Languages" which I gave her before we were married. Then of course there is "Fireproof." All about a very bitter wife and a desperately trying husband ...
Most of the books she read, combined with a constant involvement of people from social networks who had no business being in ours, only showed her the wrong way to do everything. Meanwhile she progressively ignored loving efforts from me as well as Godly and Biblical advice from truly committed wives who were many of them probably experienced in far worse circumstances than what we were going thru ...
Of course it was an added evil for her dealing with the temptation to betray our covenant. I suspected it way sooner than she made it obvious and then went thru with it. I just tried giving it over to God instead of pushing it ...
People are misconceived about adultery. It starts first in the heart and mind and does not have to go "all the way." The slightest action, behavior or flirting with anyone but your spouse is adulterous and opens the door for evil to step in and take over.
Whatever torn feelings my wife may have had did not take long to wither due to the help of everyone telling her to break her vows without EVER once talking to me, her own husband about anything that was wrong, without ever once telling me she missed me as well as our daughter going to church with her. Without even considering this thing called "communication" which she used to be very good at ...
I am to blame for a lot, but the very same things that I am actually guilty of, she is also guilty of, but nobody is attacking her and I didn't run away with our child and throw her to the streets. Which I've heard many wives say they would never have done that. I kept trying to get her attention back on the marriage and the love we shared. Did I do everything right? No, but I didn't let others dictate my choices or coach me in the wrong direction. I prayed and cried desperately, even with my daughter in my arms sometimes, for Megan to realize what's happening, that she was fast becoming everything she promised never to be, everything she hated.
These promises included letting me be homeless. She made the promise that if her mother ever forced me out, she'd go too. It also included never using the law to hurt me. Which I have shared Scripture about this. Or keeping our child from knowing me. Of course there is much more ...
So who is really betrayed here? I can tell you that Satan has very much to do with this. He is always involved in marital and family destruction ...
I have said that this covenant is only over in God's eyes if I choose it. I say that because "divorce" due to adultery is only an option, it is not a command. Many marriages have rekindled after this and other sins ...
Because of my love for her and my daughter, my loyalty to them and my very convictions, I can NEVER give up on our marriage. Anyone who knows me at all, especially her, knows I'm just stubborn enough to hold to that and have faith in her to remember ...
I know my wife. I know the true Megan is still in her. If I did not believe that with my whole heart, I don't know what I would do. Tho, I don't think of any part of this separately. The marriage, our child, the covenant, the love between us, enduring life as one, as a sacred union ... it all goes together just as God would have it.
I've also said, she hasn't "moved on" anywhere. She jumped of the marriage train on the narrow track, went down the wide, easy path with my daughter in tow. The cowardice way out ...
I am still on the stopped train, watching, waiting, praying. I will never get off and go another way ...
To do so would betray my own heart ...
"Is your marriage floundering, the problems too personal or painful to discuss with anyone other than your spouse? Books are discreet counselors."
Ok well first off, FACEBOOK is the WORST place to talk about any of this. Especially if the HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of people in your friends list are total strangers as well as very worldly. Its also bad to talk to anyone who sees unjustified divorce and abandonment as options ...
Second, there are very few books that will even qualify as "good counselors" for marriage. To my knowledge the only one my wife ever read was "5 Love Languages" which I gave her before we were married. Then of course there is "Fireproof." All about a very bitter wife and a desperately trying husband ...
Most of the books she read, combined with a constant involvement of people from social networks who had no business being in ours, only showed her the wrong way to do everything. Meanwhile she progressively ignored loving efforts from me as well as Godly and Biblical advice from truly committed wives who were many of them probably experienced in far worse circumstances than what we were going thru ...
Of course it was an added evil for her dealing with the temptation to betray our covenant. I suspected it way sooner than she made it obvious and then went thru with it. I just tried giving it over to God instead of pushing it ...
People are misconceived about adultery. It starts first in the heart and mind and does not have to go "all the way." The slightest action, behavior or flirting with anyone but your spouse is adulterous and opens the door for evil to step in and take over.
Whatever torn feelings my wife may have had did not take long to wither due to the help of everyone telling her to break her vows without EVER once talking to me, her own husband about anything that was wrong, without ever once telling me she missed me as well as our daughter going to church with her. Without even considering this thing called "communication" which she used to be very good at ...
I am to blame for a lot, but the very same things that I am actually guilty of, she is also guilty of, but nobody is attacking her and I didn't run away with our child and throw her to the streets. Which I've heard many wives say they would never have done that. I kept trying to get her attention back on the marriage and the love we shared. Did I do everything right? No, but I didn't let others dictate my choices or coach me in the wrong direction. I prayed and cried desperately, even with my daughter in my arms sometimes, for Megan to realize what's happening, that she was fast becoming everything she promised never to be, everything she hated.
These promises included letting me be homeless. She made the promise that if her mother ever forced me out, she'd go too. It also included never using the law to hurt me. Which I have shared Scripture about this. Or keeping our child from knowing me. Of course there is much more ...
So who is really betrayed here? I can tell you that Satan has very much to do with this. He is always involved in marital and family destruction ...
I have said that this covenant is only over in God's eyes if I choose it. I say that because "divorce" due to adultery is only an option, it is not a command. Many marriages have rekindled after this and other sins ...
Because of my love for her and my daughter, my loyalty to them and my very convictions, I can NEVER give up on our marriage. Anyone who knows me at all, especially her, knows I'm just stubborn enough to hold to that and have faith in her to remember ...
I know my wife. I know the true Megan is still in her. If I did not believe that with my whole heart, I don't know what I would do. Tho, I don't think of any part of this separately. The marriage, our child, the covenant, the love between us, enduring life as one, as a sacred union ... it all goes together just as God would have it.
I've also said, she hasn't "moved on" anywhere. She jumped of the marriage train on the narrow track, went down the wide, easy path with my daughter in tow. The cowardice way out ...
I am still on the stopped train, watching, waiting, praying. I will never get off and go another way ...
To do so would betray my own heart ...